The best of both worlds: Keeping the Peace

We all, if we are truthful like the best of both worlds. We all like the idea of living in peace but actually what it would take for that to happen is for all the people who we do not agree with to drop their own opinions and beliefs and take up our views and beliefs instead. Ain’t gonna happen is it.

All we can do individually is try to live our own lives without upsetting others if we can possibly help it. The older I get the more I see the truth in that.

I was brought up very strictly; my dad played the cornet in the Salvation Army band, he was a very peaceful man and had given that life up to marry my mother who had also been strictly brought up within Church of England ideals. However she was a strong personality and hot tempered to boot and it was with that hot temper that my brother and I were kept in order. If we acted against her rule, we would get a sharp slap around the back of the head to bring us back into line and sometimes she would not stop at that.

                               The splendid Ovaverva swimming complex St Moritz

These days that would be called abuse, yet I still know that in that harsh way I still came to terms with the idea that one cannot always have one own way and that you should think before you act, think before you say something unpleasant, even if you have been hurt first. The failing with my mother’s method was, that I came to know that shouting at somebody, will in most cases result in them shouting back and that does nothing but raise the blood pressure.

There are a lot of people in this world who have not realised this. There are a lot of people who still strike out with ugly words. Some time ago I thought it might be better to meet the ugly words or the shouting with a broad smile. Sometimes it works and sometimes it prompts a second round of quick fire rudeness.

For me now, with those I love in particular, I try my hardest to keep the peace, very often by keeping my opinions to myself. My husband Steve and I do quite well with this because we both want the other partner to be happy, so we do not say unkind things to each other. We do discuss things thoroughly into the tiniest detail of what we are thinking by saying what we would prefer a thing to be rather than snap at each other. I know that he prefers me to stay out of the kitchen whilst he is cooking. He knows that I don’t like it if he looks over my shoulder as I write. I do as he says as far as I can when he is coaching, then I am the athlete taking advice, that is then only sensible because he knows my ability better than I do actually as has been proved right often. I am the entertainment manager of the house and select theatre and cinema visits that he accepts almost without question because went I have bowed to him on that issue it has not worked out well. He does not complain about the time I spend writing and I don’t complain that he doesn’t want to do gardening.

 Two rather special visiting swimmers

On our visit to the stunning Ovaverva in St Moritz, which is without doubt the best pool complex I have ever been to, we stood in our swimwear and looked carefully at the pool set out in lanes to see which lane we should get into, to suit our training plan. We though the outside lane looked most promising. There were three people all doing front crawl where as other lanes had some breast stroke, some back stroke and some fly.

We sat on the side for a while to watch the lane before getting in. There were two men and one woman with a snorkel. One man was swimming up and down on one side of the lane and the other two were trying to swim anti clockwise using both side of the lane. Steve moved to sitting on the starting block and I stood close by preparing to get in. The woman stopped at the end and spoke to Steve agreeing that it was hard swimming around the one guy wanting to keep half a lane to himself. She laughed and said to Steve “I remember you; you are the English people who swam the wrong way round last year”. Last year she had got in with us and when we stopped at the end of a 200 mtr swim she said that we were swimming the wrong way round and Steve had pointed out that she got in with us after we had started our set and there were not direction notices in place. She argued for a while and then got out and complained to the life guard, who said that there were two of us anyway so why not swim with them. She got back in and we all had a good swim.

Remembering that time from last year and seeing that there was room in the next lane with another woman swimming backstroke she changed lanes. Shortly after that the other man gave up and got out of the pool.

Steve turned to me and said “You get in and see if you can sort him out Daf”. The other man was still firmly holding his half of the lane. He was swimming just a little bit slower than me. I swam anti clockwise until I got to his feet and then stayed there. As we approached the end I knew that he would turn straight towards me so at that point I moved right to the wall side to give him room to turn. My peaceful method worked because at the second time we got to that point he moved over and joined the anti clockwise method. Steve then got in and we started fitting in our set of 200’s in with the other guy and we all had a good swim with no arguments and no rude remarks. We had in fact given up on our preferred clockwise swim, that upset snorkel lady last year and he gave up on keeping the lane to himself. Peace reigned.

Problems can be worked out one way or another but for preference without shouting and without hard feelings and we all left smiling.

Separate for every need

We went to church on Christmas day, attending the closest church to our apartment.  In the St Moritz area you can usually find a service in whatever language you prefer of those spoken in Switzerland plus English. There were two services at this church in the evening, one a 16.00 in Italian and 18.00 in Portuguese! We went to the four o’clock service. The bells had stopped by the time we walked there and the church was packed out so we had to stand at the side of the back.

Another example of how rude some people can be was that close to where we were standing, there was a family in the second from the back pew. There was a mother, a father and two children, an older girl and a younger handicapped girl. As time went on, the handicapped child started to make noises, sometimes trying to sing along but sometimes the noises were just noises. Most people ignored the child who was happy enough with her parents but she would stand now and again and move about and the parents tried their best with her but that was not good enough for a man sitting in front of them who turned scornfully several times before actually complaining to them. Even though I was not close enough to hear, and anyway have little in the way on Italian, it was obvious that he had said something like “If you cannot keep her quiet why don’t you take her out”. That was what her father did. Is it not astonishing just how very unkind some people can be.