When I Am Prime Minister

Having listened to a LOT of talk radio on our journey home it seems to me that our country and the politicians who are supposed to run the country are in much less that a state of complete flux. This one is resigning and that one is going to soon, everybody is calling for new leaders and there is no backbone left anywhere. They are all changing their tunes and it’s plain that there is not a person left that you can trust to make their case be believed. 

Therefore the time has come for me to step out of the shadows and make my view clear here and now. So following is the same plan for the way forward as set down several years ago, proving that I am a woman of my word and will stand my ground…. I repeat these words. 

When I Am Prime Minister 

The day when Prime Minister I become

Leadership fairer and much more sage

Will make new laws and change will come

For the young and those in older age. 

Plain bad manners and rude words

Will be absolutely and completely banned

Guilty ones sent out to live in wild herds

Guarded only by the Almighty’s hand. 

When much too much, are ones is earnings

Weekly charity work will be enforced

There will be monthly town centre burnings

Of rapists and paedophiles endorsed. 

For spending years in invalid caring

This investment will be compensated

Replaced will be the rags they’re wearing

Nurses, for just rewards rightly nominated. 

Lesser crimes still will not pass free

Pavement blocking shoppers admonished

They must endless footage of themselves see

Staring into space as if astonished. 

Cold caller menaces who a phone call place

The very plague of these modern days

Will be dispatched by rocket ship into space

Hurtling on into the suns burning rays. 

Vote for me should you like these words

Rather than a much more sinister minister

Laws as loud and clear as Beethoven’s chords

Oh yes we can, when I am Prime Minister.