Escape to freedom

Since the commencement of her incarceration in March our little black cat Birdy has never stopped complaining about the injustice of her imprisonment. She has made it abundantly clear that she thinks we, her jailers, are chained into the dungeons at the darkest depth of stupidity, and that we may accept this life that she never will. Never, never, never.

 Well, hardly ever; only with the exception of meal times since they are rather good and seem to be attached to an astonishing on demand system. All she thinks she has to do is march up and down following us around and making the most primitive meowly-yowling sounds whilst glaring ferociously at the dopey human who makes out that they don’t understand that when she sits by the kitchen sink staring at the back door handle from and distance of two centimetres that it means “For the love of God will you let me out into the garden”. 

Whilst she has the attention of the other house-mates, she will try every and any method to get out. When she is being ignored; as is the case when I am working on the computer, she will sit on the books on one side and try hypnotism. This involves sitting on top of the books with her eyes fixed on me while I tip-tap away on the keys. If the time frame stretches out to far, she will move in and sit on my mouse mat and then if I stop to think, step onto my hand and lay down. The last stand then, is to get up on all fours and head-butt my ear and glasses. 

I bought a cat harness to try, so when she starts the belly aching “Can I go out please”, nonsense, I put the harness on once every few days or so and take her outside with a bag of Dreamies as bribery to get her to walk in the contraption. Most of the time there is a lot of over acting and falling over but it seems that going out in the harness is better than nowt.

This morning however. Steve arrived home opening the electric roller on the garage and she did walk toward him. But then with a glimpse of the outside world she crawled under a neighbour’s car and squeezed out of the harness and ran away through a fence. We tried to lure her back with a shake of the dreamy packet but it was ignored. I muttered to Stephen that she would be back when she was hungry. That was about five minutes later.