Swiss Takes

Swiss Takes

December 2015

 

A string of ‘firsts’,

Greeted our visit to Switzerland this winter. 

We were not stopped at the border.

Not asked to present our passports.

Not checked to see if we had bought the obligatory Vignette.

Officers made no attempt to check our car.

They did not even come near.

They displayed no interest at all,

In this particular pair of tourists. 

Less than and hour later

We arrived at our chosen overnight hotel

We parked outside and unloaded our car

We pushed our trolley into the smart foyer

Walked to the reception desk

Where a smiling employee warmly greeted us.

Details were checked, booking sheet shown.

We asked for a room with a bathtub

Not just a shower,

We prefer to wallow in a tub.

We were checked in and given a key card. 

On arriving at the allocated room

A quick glance showed that there was no bathtub.

With a sigh we turned our trolley around

And rolled back to the lift; it had been a long day. 

The same smiling receptionist greeted us again,

Explaining the problem in a pleasant tone,

The young woman made an embarrassed apology

She presents another key card and smiles sweetly

Stating that this room definitely does have a bath.

We trundle to the lift once more.

Opening the door of the second room

We see that once again there is not a bathtub there.

Huffing and puffing to each other

We return to the lift,

Then for the second time,

Back to the reception desk. 

The receptionist looks surprised at our news

And, at this juncture a more senior staff member

Steps up to the desk from the office just behind.

She is SOOO sorry.

She says that due to these mistakes

We will be given an upgrade. 

We are finally given a room with a bathtub

In fact there are two bathrooms

One with a shower and one with a bath

And a separate bedroom beyond the sitting room

All very nice, not quite a rock star suite, but nice. 

There were no further problems with our stay;

The young man who served us at dinner

Was utterly charming, thoroughly efficient

And so polite, from Goa, he offered.

Excellent dinner. 

After and equally excellent breakfast

The next morning we continued our journey;

Our plan was to get to Chur and the Julier Pass

Ahead of the heavy Christmas holiday traffic.

Destination St Moritz.

This trip was probably

On thoughtful consideration,

At least the thirtieth visit

Our favourite place for all our married life. 

On reaching the top of the pass road,

Another first! Almost scary.

We were stopped by a machine gun wielding guard

Softened when he approached with the greeting

“Hello, good morning”,

Said he, as he peered into our little car,

Looking around

Before waving us back on.

Bit of a surprise to be stopped there. 

We have stayed in some nice hotels

But also many, many apartments

Over the years in lots of different areas

In the town centre or in the close by villages

Samedan, Celerina, Sils Maria,

Silvaplana and Champfer,

All of them as lovely as each other

All of them neat clean and well appointed

And all the usual homely items included. 

This year we found our first slight let down.

The apartment was basically, a Swiss average

Yet modern upgrades had not been placed.

No WIFI! What?

My eye’s almost popped out in shock!

In this so modern an age? 

A small portable TV with very few channels.

No extractor fan in the kitchen.

Not a complete set of any crockery

One mug, three dinner plates

Milk pan? Water or beer glasses?

Hair dryer, iron?

So many missing items. 

Money had been spent though;

On a fancy shower room.

Very modern, very smart….

Glass sink, whooo!

A posh square toilet, maybe for Spongebob?

Not quite so smart however,

To place the matching square bidet

Directly in front of the shower entrance!?

Members of Cirque du Soleil may like it;

A bit of extra acrobatic practice. 

We called into the booking agent up in the town

Where I voiced my opinion that,

I thought that WIFI should be a norm

In every hotel and apartment block

In the civilised world.

This is not the dark ages after all. 

I offered my list of items missing from our flat

Taking this item from my hand,

The pretty young woman

With a charming smile

Told me that they were,

Always happy to receive any feedback. 

The main disappointment of our travels

Through Switzerland up to this point

Was the worrying absence of ….

The White Stuff.

Snow. No snow!

Just bronze (still beautiful) mountains

Instead of swathes of magical white,

Even on the high mountain tops

The barest, sparing-est dusting. 

Of course I cannot blame Switzerland for this.

This is the sad truth of climate change

That we have brought upon ourselves.

The rest however;

Made me think of a favourite poem.

And God forgive me,

Changing the end more than a little;

Is this the way the world ends?

Is this the way the world ends?

Not with a bang but a breakdown

In the fabled Swiss efficiency.