The Christmas
Break/End of Year long turbo session in front of the ‘Big Screen’ raised £80
for The Chestnut Tree Children’s Hospice in kind donations from organising and
participating members of Tuff Fitty Triathlon Club. Great job guys. It’s so
nice in all this horrible weather, with the wind blowing a hooley and rain
lashing spitefully, to get together with friends and still do some very useful
workouts on the turbo.To suit this blog, here is a nightmare account of my fantasy worst bike time trial. Feel free to donate on this link if you have had things go this badly wrong.
Dream Number 23: Time Trial
We are going to do
We are going to do
A 100 mile bike time trial
The start was not that far away
Clapham Village Hall
A popular start point
Steve left home early in the car
He forgot to take me
I really wanted to do it
Since I needed to qualify
For the World Championships
In September, the event
is also a qualifier for the
European Championships in 2014
2013 is my seventy forth year
So I set off
Ride the extra 5 miles
I get to the start.
When I get arrive
They have changed the start
To another point
Dial Post
16 miles further on
I eventually get to the start
A couple of hours late
There are not many
Well none actually
Lady vet riders
Of my age
They let me start anyway
As I get pushed off
By the start marshal
I realise what I am wearing
A very nice and warm
But totally impractical
For the occasion
Mohair and wool mix winter coat
Auntie gave me it before she died
It is a full length camel coloured coat
It has a high Peter Pan collar
Whilst holding the flaps of the coat
To keep them from catching in the spokes
I notice that I have
To make matters worse
Put on a pair on socks
That my daughter’s cocker spaniel Louis
Had eaten a few days earlier
They are in shreds
And offer me no protection
My shoes start to give me blisters
My husband Steve
Who is normally
My pre-event preparation slave
Has not even filled my drinks bottle
My usual bag of M&S fruit jellies
Are not on my bike
And neither
Are my normal salt supply
In the form of saltine crackers
I carry on biking
But the wind gets in my eyes
I have forgotten
My sun glasses too
I look for a marshal
To give my cumbersome coat to
I don't want to just leave it on the road
side
Because it is a top quality coat
It will last me forever
Because I only wear it for best
I am now hours over the cut off time
But still have to get back to the finish
Another fifty miles away
It is then that I start to become
Distantly conscious
From my dream
But do not actually wake
I know at this point
That the reason
My foot and arm ache
So much is because
I had a fall running six weeks ago
And have had problems
That have needed two trips
To the hospital to put right
The second was only yesterday
I am still a shaky from that
But on the other hand
I have more movement
I am starting to think
That I will
get better
And be able to get back to training
As normal
This is confusing in my dream state
Because I am struggling
Through a hundred mile time trial
I think that I should stop really
It's too early after my treatment
They said that I should take it easy
For at least six weeks more
Yet here I am on a long bike ride
I hope that Steve will come
To pick me up but he doesn't
I keep pushing on
Confused now
Why I am fighting the odds
When I should be having an easy day
I am coming out of my dream slowly
I know that I want to get back in shape
But do not really understand
Why my foot and arm
Ache so much on this ride
The alarm goes off at 5.30 am
Steve is going to a turbo session
With friends
But I am not going because
I have just had a final (I hope)
Examination at the hospital
In my bleary state I am not sure
That I have not
been riding my bike
All night
In Auntie Paul's coat
It feels like I have
In the cold light of day
I do not need this dream analysed
I know that at approaching 75
I am fighting against the odds
But I still think that is a worthwhile
battle
In case anybody out there thinks otherwise
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